Why the Second Date Matters More
We are all wired to look for our perfect person, and this is why we take first dates oh so seriously. There’s been so much ink spilled around people’s panic during their first dates that others often give it more credit than it actually deserves.
First dates are, in this era where we get to screen each other on dating apps and social media, widely glorified. True, emotions and expectations are at their peak during the first dates. But they’re neither perfect nor terrible; they’re somewhere in between.
While first dates are a hit-or-miss excursion, singles that genuinely look for love should prepare for the second date. Here’s why:
1. You get to correct things
They say you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression. But, it might not always be the case when it comes to your second date. Yes—that’s even when you snorted too loudly when your dating partner said something funny, gifted them something way too expensive, or spurted a nonsensical answer to their simple question.
Thanks to your second date, you can regain yourself and prove you’re not as crazy as they already think you are. Your second date may also be a blessing for the other party, especially when they’ve been a total clutz throughout date one.
When you first meet someone, you sometimes focus on the idea of a potential relationship that when you feel like things are off track, you get massively disappointed. Additionally, you know so little about someone that you put too much emphasis on your date’s tiny mistake.
It’s no news that the more you get to know someone, the more you like them. Since you’re aware you’re intrinsically awkward during the first meetings, the second date will be perfect for you. You could regain your composure, correct some things, and win each other’s affections for real this time.
2. Feelings are already involved
The first date is about checking someone out. However, the second date is way more important as there may be potential feelings involved.
Your second date is about getting past superficial gabs and engaging in more meaningful conversations. During this stage, you check each other’s character and compatibility and cultivate a deeper connection. Also, now, you find each other second date-worthy, which eventually boosts your confidence.
While finding the spark on a first date is fun, this magical feeling doesn’t show until a pair fully gets to know each other. And, love and intimacy don’t grow until both are comfortable with each other’s company. So, let things and love flow naturally—anything that’s meant to happen will happen in time.
3. There would be more pressure—especially if your first date were a hit
Second dates could also bring more pressure than necessary, especially when you two had a blast during the first one.
There’s more pressure here as your second date will cement everything you know about each other. Additionally, exceeding that first date could be stressful as it may end up being a complete disaster. The worst part? You two might realize the spark vanished out of the blue.
If you’re only here for the spark, know that it doesn’t matter all that much. According to a survey conducted by Match.com in 2015, many singles actively looking for a serious commitment are more likely to give a second date another go.
Moreover, there’s a myth surrounding instant fireworks, but the truth is that the brain system that governs romantic love can be woken up at any time. So, you might feel it on date one, after a couple of dates, or even after years of being together. Some pressure, especially one concerning love, is good, but an excess of it is always bad.
4. You probe if they’re genuinely kind and respectful
Everyone is on their best foot forward during the first date. And, this is normal. No one likes their dating partner to think the worst about them for one mistake.
While that’s okay, it isn’t ideal to be acting something entirely out of nature forever. If you wish to know your date more, a second date is a great chance to do it.
Some people often let their walls down on date number two. So, when your date is as perfect as they were the first time, lucky for you! But, if their true (and uglier) colors are slowly showing, take a step back and determine if building a relationship with that person would be best.
Ideally, you’d want someone kind and respectful to everyone—from the restaurant managers to the valet. Choose someone who doesn’t make you feel bad about your choices and lets you be you.
5. You take “what if’s” out of the way
Getting sucked inside the bubble of “what if’s” isn’t easy. It saps your happiness away.
Chances are, you push yourself way too much: to look and act better in the future. And, what this does is it takes you away from what’s essential momentarily. In your struggle to make things better moving forward, you tend to forget to appreciate the now.
So, let go of the “what if’s” and go on that second date. Nonetheless, consider a second date if you get caught up in questions like:
What if that person was ‘The One?’ What if the spark shows up on our second date? What if they just need a slight nudge to build themselves up and become less awkward?
If there was a glimmer of attraction and you feel like there’s potential there, give it a go! Be adventurous—if you’ve never been. Who knows? That person could’ve been the one thing missing in your life.
Relax and enjoy your date!
The entire dating extravaganza can be a challenge. So much of dating goes into evaluating compatibility with someone and determining what you want in a relationship. And, your entire future lies in who you end up with—or the life you choose with them.
So, it’s okay to feel jittery during your date. But, don’t let it pressure you way too much that you forget to enjoy it. Relax, have fun, and be present on your date. You got this!